"draw me close to You, never let me go"

I feel stagnant in my walk with the Lord, and I know it's because I have been neglectful and careless. I really don't know what else to say. I suck.

I read a blog just now, http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com, that really convicted me. I argued with my husband tonight because he wouldn't get out of bed so I could put the sheets on. I threatened to sleep on the couch. After reading this woman's blog, I feel stupid. I should be SO GRATEFUL that I live in this country where not only do I have a roof over my head, but that I have a carpeted floor, with a bed that has sheets, pillows, and blankets, as well as a couch. I have free health care because our income is below the poverty level. We have electricity, gas, clean water...geez. I could go on and on and on about my blessings all day.

I think what bothers me the most isn't that I google for $100 swimsuits or that I am currently snacking on nutella and ritz crackers, but that in spite of all of my blessings, I am not close to God. At all. I last felt His approval when talking to Rick yesterday about getting baptized. But as for the last time God and I actually TALKED? Man, last time I even remember was when my baby boy was born. YEAH. THAT WAS NEARLY FIVE MONTHS AGO.

I want to rededicate my life to Christ, BECAUSE IT ISN'T MY LIFE. I am using the preparation time given to me by Rick to write my testimony to do that.

Draw me close to You, never let me go
I lay it all down again
Just to hear You say that I'm Your friend
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me to know that You are near

I feel better after typing this post already. Now, it's time to test me. :)